Journey's End Read online

  Jared kissed her cheek. “I’ll be in the next room if you need me.” He left the two alone.

  Lucas slammed the door behind Jared. “You are not marrying that…that thing out there.” He crossed the room to her. “I won’t allow it.”

  “I’m tired, and you don’t have a choice. I don’t want to fight now.” She pulled up her comforter. “Give him a chance. I didn’t like him at first either, but he grows on you.” She laid her head down to sleep.

  He removed the comforter to check her back. She turned over on her stomach and rolled up her nightgown. He gently touched the area around the bruise on her back. If she’d broken any bones, they’d healed nicely.

  “You can’t trust him, Joy.”

  “I didn’t, but now I do.”

  “You’re not listening to me.”

  “There’s no talking to you. You have to be the most stubborn person alive.”

  “He wants something. You don’t know them like I do. They will pretend to befriend you until they get what they want.”

  “I’m too tired to think to discuss this with you now. All I can say is I don’t know them, but I know Jared. We love each other, and we’re getting married. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it because as I said, it’s not your choice.”

  “You are my charge.”

  “I’m nineteen. I come, go, and do as I please.”

  “You have always been a hardheaded child. This marriage isn’t happening and that’s final.”

  Jared sat in the kitchen, ready to battle. He propped his leg on a chair. He’d been using his crutches again, hoping his leg would begin to heal.

  Lucas stormed out of Joy’s room and went directly to a bag he’d carried in with him. He plopped the bag on the kitchen table and dug through, pulling out a small paper packet. “Have you always been a cripple?” asked Lucas as he poured the powder into a pot, then added water from the pitcher sitting in the center of the table.

  “I broke my leg a few months back.”

  “She thinks she’s in love with you.” He rotated the pot to stir the mixture. “What have you been telling her?”

  “We just get along. And to make sure there is no misunderstanding, I’m in love with her also.”

  “You can’t love her. You’re kind doesn’t know what love is. You want her. I’m shocked you haven’t taken her. Or is your style a little different. You want a willing victim, then you’ll break her heart?” He set his concoction on the stove to heat.

  “You don’t know me, and you’ve already condemned me. I can’t say anything to change your mind, so I won’t try. Joy knows my heart. Her opinion is the one that counts.” He thanked God this hateful man hadn’t been Joy’s sole teacher. He had to commend her Indian family for raising a beautiful person, both inside and out.

  Lucas sat at the table across from Jared. “Maybe you’re right. Let me get to know you. You have a southern drawl. Where are you from?”

  “Alabama.”

  “Did you own slaves?”

  “For a short time, but…”

  Lucas cut him off. “The but doesn’t matter. Did you fight in the war?”

  “Yes. And I inherited the slaves when my father died. I freed them immediately. The ex-slaves chose to work on the plantation.” Though everything he said was the truth, he and the former slaves decided not to tell people of their freedom for fear they’d be captured and resold into slavery. Instead, he gave them each their papers in case something happened to him.

  Lucas harrumphed loudly. “You expect me to believe you. I’m not some starry-eyed child who hasn’t seen a man before.”

  “You will believe whatever you want. As I said, I won’t try to change your mind.”

  “What side of the war did you fight on?”

  “The South.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. You sit there with your holier-than-thou attitude and are no different than any other white man.” He poured a portion of the contents of the pot in a cup to cool. “You owned slaves and you fought for your right to keep them.”

  Jared flushed with anger. Lucas didn’t want the truth and would poison Joy against him. “I fought to keep the government from taking over. I was anti-slavery. I worked for the Un—”

  Lucas smirked. “I thought you weren’t trying to change my mind.” He stood to leave.

  Why did he waste his breath arguing with Lucas? He’d be gone in a few days and things would return to normal. “Joy won’t drink that. Do you want some grape juice to mix it with?” Rotting skunk carcass smelled better than the medicine Lucas made for Joy.

  “Stay out of my way, white man.”

  Lucas sat at the edge of the bed. “Joy, wake up. I need for you to drink this.”

  Scrunching up her nose, Joy half opened her eyes. “Something stinks.”

  “This will dry up the rest of your cough. If you drink it, your cough will be gone by tomorrow night.”

  She pinched her nose. “I’m not in that much of a rush. No thanks.”

  “Why must you always be so argumentative?”

  “Because you’re always telling me what to do. I’m not dying anymore, so I don’t want to drink your stinky medicine.”

  He ran his hands over his hair and blew out an exasperated breath. “Did you know Jared owned slaves and fought in the war for the South? He doesn’t love you, Joy. I don’t know what he wants, but he wants something.”

  “I’m not arguing with you. I love him, and there is nothing you can say to change my mind. Now take that smelly stuff out of my room, please.”

  He stared at her, then returned to the kitchen and set the cup on the kitchen table.

  Jared pointed at the medicine. “What is it for?”

  “It’ll dry up the rest of her cough. She’s always been stubborn. She won’t drink it.”

  Jared took the cup and a jug of grape juice. “I’ll try.” Lucas followed him. “Alone.”

  As Jared walked into the room, Joy covered her head with her blanket. “I’m not drinking that. Did you smell it? I think he has dirty socks in it.”

  “I mixed grape juice with it.” He sat beside her.

  “Great, now it smells like stinky, dirty grape socks. I’m still not drinking it.”

  He grinned. “Who do you think is more stubborn, you or Lucas?”

  She peeked over the blanket. “I’m not stubborn. I’m right. You drink it.”

  He took a sip. It tasted worse than it smelled. “It’s not that bad.”

  “Liar.”

  “How about a trade?”

  “There is nothing I want bad enough to drink that.”

  He traced her lips with his fingertips. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know if you drink it.”

  Her voice and brows rose in surprise. “Anything?”

  He handed her the cup. “Ask away.”

  “Tell me about your nightmares.”

  “Start drinking.” This was the woman he planned to marry, and she had a right to know everything about him. He explained how his father died and left him the plantation. His father came from England and was as good as a “master” could be and didn’t believe in beating the slaves. Jared and his brother were raised to do an honest day’s work and worked alongside the slaves.

  When he inherited the plantation, he did what his father always feared—he freed the slaves. His father had thought they’d take their newfound freedom and leave him without a workforce. But most chose to continue working for Jared. His plantation became very profitable, and he hoped it would be a model for the New South. Until then he’d work as a conductor on the Underground Railroad. Then the war started.

  He chose to fight for the South because he was a Southerner. He couldn’t betray his homeland, even though he didn’t agree with some of its views. He thought he could work at abolishing slavery without the government taking over. To him the war wasn’t about slavery, but about the rights of the states.

  “My twin was killed only weeks before the war�
�s end.”

  She took his hand. He could see she understood how he felt. They were lost souls in search of each other.

  “You came to me in my dream.” He now realized the mountain song had always been Joy.

  “Really?”

  “When you hung the dream catcher, you came to me and led me away from the battlefield. I had to let Roger go. Because I refused to let him go, he kept dying, over and over again. Now he’s at peace.”

  “This had better work.” She drew in three breaths and released them slowly, then downed the awful smelling concoction. She gagged a few times, but got it down. “That was awful.”

  “I’m sorry, baby.” He took the cup from her and set it on the nightstand, then took her hands into his.

  “Over the past few nights, I relived my parents’ deaths repeatedly. You saved me.”

  “Me?”

  “I’d wake in your arms and everything would be all right again.” She glanced toward the door. “I’m afraid he will never accept you.”

  “Why is his hate so strong?”

  “Would you shut the door please?”

  He shut the door and returned to her side.

  “He…” She drew in a deep breath. “Lucas is my mother’s brother.”

  “He looks so young.” Jared took note of how she said his name. It was difficult for her, but she did it.

  “He was fourteen when I was born. My parents raised him along side me, so he has always been like an older brother.” She pointed to the woodwork and furniture. “My father and him, I mean Lucas, did this. They are master craftsmen.”

  “I’ve never seen better.”

  She beamed with pride, then sobered. “When I was six, he fell in love with and married an Indian woman.” She paused and composed herself. “When I was eight, his wife and son were murdered by white soldiers, forcing the Indians off their land. He chose to stay with the Indians and eventually moved on the reservation with them.

  “Now, he practices his craft to ensure his tribe has enough food, and medicine. He also makes sure the children are educated, so they can leave if they wish.”

  “Lucas can be such a good man, but he left you alone, Joy. What would have happened if Rising Sun not taken you in?”

  “It was my fault, Jared. I ran away.”

  “You’re blaming yourself for his abandoning you. You were a child.” He caressed her face and gazed deep into her eyes.

  She sniffed. “He’s all I have left of my parents.”

  He took her into his arms, finally understanding why she couldn’t see the wrongs Lucas had done. She feared losing the last parts of her birth family. He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry. I’ll work things out with Lucas.” He pulled back. “Who knows, in time we may become the best of friends.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Impossible.” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

  “You don’t have to continue. I can understand why he hates whites.”

  She leaned her head on his shoulder. “No, I need to tell you about my parents.” She told him everything about her parents’ deaths.

  He couldn’t have imagined anything so awful. No wonder she didn’t want to be touched and was afraid to look into his eyes. She lived through so much at such a young age. He wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry.”

  Lucas came into the room and found Joy crying in Jared’s arms. “Get your hands off her.”

  “Leave us alone, Lucas,” Jared warned. Joy had been through more than enough, and he wouldn’t permit Lucas or anyone else to harm her.

  Lucas began to step forward, but backed off when he looked into Jared’s enraged eyes.

  “Do you want me to stay in here tonight?” Jared asked.

  “I don’t want to make him any angrier. I can sleep by myself.” Her eyes began to close. “The medicine is starting to take affect.”

  “You go on to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He ignored Lucas’s grumbling, bent and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “I love you.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Within twenty-four hours, Joy’s cough cleared up considerably. By the next day, the only sign of sickness was her weight. A week later, she was almost back to normal. “Let’s eat,” she bellowed.

  Lucas still hadn’t accepted Jared, and Joy tired of their fighting. “Now that I’m well, I guess you’ll be leaving?” She knew it would take more time for Lucas to become accustomed to the idea of them being a couple, but she didn’t have the energy to fight him on the issue right now.

  He pulled his plate up. “You guessed wrong. I’m not leaving you behind again. Especially with him.”

  She plopped her fork onto her plate in disgust. “Why are you being so mule-headed about this?”

  “Because you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “I’m grown. It’s a fine time for you to worry about me not knowing what I’m doing.” She loved Lucas, but wouldn’t stand by and allow him to rule her life. Roaring Thunder was right. Lucas had no say in her life. No matter what Lucas thought, she would do what she wanted.

  Lucas watched her closely. “Why are you wearing a dress? You never wore dresses before.”

  “How would you know? You haven’t been here.”

  “What has this white cripple taught you, to disrespect me? You’re young, naïve, and stupid. It’s obvious you’re trying to make yourself attractive for this white devil. If you want marriage, I’ll find you a proper husband.”

  “There’s no talking to you.” She stormed to her room with Jared close behind.

  “Sometimes he makes me so mad I could scream!” she shouted for Lucas’s benefit. She heard the front door slam. She grinned her satisfaction.

  “Do you two always fight like this?”

  “This is only the second fight we’ve had.”

  He picked up a book and sat beside her on the bed. “What was the other one about?”

  “I refused to live on the reservation. I kept running away until he gave up.”

  “You only ran away twice, but I won’t reopen the issue.” He opened the book to read to her.

  “I don’t want to listen to a book tonight. I want you to tell me about making love.” Lucas was always around. This was her first opportunity to be alone with Jared in days.

  He grinned. “That happens to be my favorite topic.” He set the book down on the nightstand. “Now where did we leave off?”

  “You were telling me about kissing. You said it’s only the beginning.”

  “It is.”

  He bent to her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, which she liked. Then he ran his nose across her face to her nose. Odd, but she liked this also and a strange energy began building in her core. She gazed into his dark emerald eyes and wondered how she could have ever thought them like the cold, lifeless green orbs of the monster who killed her mother.

  He lowered his lips to hers and nibbled until her lips tingled. A fast learner, she nibbled on his lower lip. She wanted, needed more, but didn’t know what more was. Moisture began to collect between her legs. There was no pain, so she didn’t worry, but she also didn’t understand.

  “One second.” He went to shut the door and propped a chair under the doorknob. As he returned, he unbuttoned his shirt. No longer caring about the moisture or the energy within her, she placed her arms in his shirt and drew him near. She kissed his neck, working her way back to his mouth.

  She saw the wanting in his eyes that mirrored what she felt in her heart and the energy and moisture increased. Before she recognized the passion, she’d thought it was his hunger. She was hungry all right, just not for food.

  “One second,” she said and flashed a devilish grin. She stood before him and dropped her dress, revealing her nude body. Slight panic rushed through her. What if he didn’t want to touch her because of the moisture?

  He held her by her waist and drew her to stand between his legs. “Is something wrong?” He ran his hand from the base of her ear to her chin over her lips. “If you don’t want to, we
can wait.”

  Tears filled her eyes. She wanted to make love with Jared, but how could she tell him she’d sprung a leak in the most peculiar place.

  “Oh, baby.” He pulled her onto his lap and whispered into her ears. “We will wait until you are ready. Just let me hold you.”

  This was the man she loved, the man she would spend the rest of her life with. She had to be brave and tell him. She drew in a deep breath and released it. “I’m ready, but…but something’s wrong.” She shuffled uneasily in his lap. “I’ve become wet…” Filled with shame, she looked down.

  “Darling.” He eased his hand between her thighs and a finger into the juncture between her legs. “You are hot and wet for me.” He moved his fingers in ways that sent the energy within her core radiating outward. Soon tiny pleasure filled explosions ignited throughout her body.

  “Jared…” She gripped onto him.

  “That’s it. Let it flow.”

  Coming back to herself, she lay her head on his chest. “I like getting wet.”

  Chuckling, he said, “We’ve only just begun.” He set her on the bed, then stripped the rest of his clothing.

  Amazed, all she could do was stare. She’d known males and females were built differently, but to see him in all his naked glory had her heart racing.

  “I like the way you look at me,” he said as he rejoined her in bed.

  She ran her hands over his chest and explored with her lips.

  “That’s it,” he mumbled. “I’m all yours.”

  Joy’s world was already spinning, then he placed his hardness on the juncture between her legs and rubbed its tip in her wetness. Not an ounce of fear crept into her. Only desire.

  “I’ll try to be gentle, but there will be pain this first time. Just relax as much as possible.”

  She accepted him into her body and received pleasure instead of pain. He stroked slow, steady, shallow. She slipped her arms around his back and rolled her hips beneath him, which increased her pleasure and she hoped his.

  She wrapped her legs around his thighs for more depth, but he pulled away, keeping with the shallow strokes that were driving her wild. Usual patience nowhere to be found, she thrust her hips into him. At the breaking of her maidenhead, she cried out.